Confession
by TARDISkeeper
Summary: Rose has a bad dream, and the Doctor tries to comfort her. Feelings are revealed. T for to be safe.


**Summary: Rose has a nightmare, the Doctor tries to comfort her, and it leads to revelations regarding their feelings for each other. Nine/Rose.**

**Setting: After Dalek.**

**Disclaimer: How many times must you torture me and force me to say this? No, I don't own Doctor Who. I won't own Doctor Who the next time I write a fanfiction either. I will never own Doctor Who. Can I stop saying that now?**

**Author's Notes: The dream is a (slightly off) premonition. Not a memory. Just saying that to avoid confusion. This is with Nine, not Ten. PotW hasn't happened yet.**

**Spoilers: For Dalek and Parting of the Ways. Except the PotW spoiler is wrong. Sort of. So yeah.**

Confession

"…_Have a good life. Do that for me, Rose. Have a fantastic life."_

_The hologram of the Doctor disappeared. The last time she would see him, ever._

"_Take me back!" she screamed. "TAKE ME BACK!"_

_But it was too late._

_She figured out eventually that if she could get to the heart of the TARDIS, she could communicate with it and get it to bring her back to the Doctor. So Mickey hooked up a chain to his car and tried to pull it open. It didn't work._

_Then Rose's mother showed up with a huge truck. Surely this would work…_

_They pulled and pulled at the chain, but no matter how hard they tried, the heart of the TARDIS stayed hidden._

_The Doctor was gone. Forever…_

"NO!" Rose sat up and screamed before she realized that it had just been a dream. She clapped her hands over her mouth, but it was too late. An instant later, the door burst open, and the Doctor was looking in with wide, frightened eyes.

"Rose! Are you okay?"

He was there. He was alive.

Yes, she was okay now.

"Just a bad dream," she whispered. Already the details were fading from her memory. Something about a truck, and the Doctor being in trouble.

And her not being able to save him.

"What about?" the Doctor asked, sitting down next to her.

"Um," Rose said, trying to think of something safe, something that wouldn't convey how afraid she was of losing him. "The Dalek."

He took her hand and held it, not saying anything, just holding her hand, letting her know she wasn't alone.

"Oh," she said after a minute, remembering. "There's something I've been meaning to ask you about. When the Dalek was holding me hostage. Something it said."

She felt him tense up. He probably knew what she was going to say. Maybe he didn't want to talk about this. Maybe she was mistaken, maybe she should just let it be…

No, she had to get this out in the open.

"What was it?" the Doctor asked, and she wasn't sure if he sounded eager or nervous or happy or scared or angry or…

Overanalyzing was not going to do her any good. She just had to spit it out.

"," she said all in one breath.

She sneaked a peek up at him, and was it her imagination, or was his face turning just a tiny bit red?

And if it was, would that be a good thing or a bad thing?

And what would be a good thing exactly?

And—

_Stop overanalyzing_, she told herself.

"Rose," the Doctor said finally, and she looked up at him to find that he was staring at the wall.

That couldn't be good.

"Rose…" the Doctor repeated. "The thing is…between the time when I last heard your voice and the Dalek let us see you on the screen… I thought, I mean I honestly believed you were dead. And I had to accept some things in that time. In that moment… I mean… I'm a Time Lord. I live for hundreds of years. I can't let myself get attached to anyone. In the end they all leave or get killed…"

Rose wanted to tell him that she'd never leave him, but she was too busy trying to keep back the tears.

"That's why I traveled alone for a while," the Doctor continued. "But then I met you, and somehow you wormed your way into my life. I'd never planned on taking another companion until I met you. And even when I did bring you along, I never planned on becoming attached to you. I told myself I wasn't allowed to care about you. But somehow… when I thought you were dead… I managed to forget those instructions entirely."

Rose couldn't believe her ears. What was he trying to say?

The Doctor chuckled a bit. "You know, awful as they are, Daleks can be pretty smart. That thing managed to see what I myself had refused to see until that moment."

"What's that?" Rose asked, hardly daring to breathe.

"I… I love you," the Doctor said, turning away. "I know you don't feel the same, and I'm willing to take you home if you don't want—"

He stopped talking then, mainly because Rose had turned his face back towards hers and kissed him.

"Ah," the Doctor said after they pulled apart, a huge grin on his face.

"You idiot," Rose said. "Why didn't you just _tell_ me instead of going on with all that about not wanting another companion and not getting attached to me?"

"I… I thought there was no way you would ever love me," he said. "You're a beautiful young woman. You could have any man you wanted. I'm just a broken old man who struts around like he rules the world and then plays with people's lives."

"Oh, Doctor," Rose said. "You save so many people, but all you can think about are the ones you couldn't save. The thing is, it's not your fault. I _know_ that if it were possible to save everyone, all the time, you would. But sometimes it's not possible. And that's not because you messed up. It's because the universe is cruel and unfair sometimes. And you, you go out, save the universe, and you come back and have chips like it's no big deal. Who else would do that? 99% of the guys in the universe, if they had just saved the world, they would go around announcing it to everyone, and they would deserve to. But you? You sit there and eat _chips_, like it's nothing. And to you, it isn't, because you do it every. Single. Day. It's _incredible_. So don't ever say things like that about yourself again."

If Rose hadn't been paying close attention, she wouldn't have noticed that his grin had gotten a little bit wider, and the pain that was always in his eyes, while not gone completely, was definitely less evident.


End file.
